Portents...

It has seemed that uncertainty is in the wind at HM.  I'm waiting to see if and when #318 will exist, if they can at least match the 10 issues produced in 2021, which I considered not too bad for the ambitious promise of a return to monthly publication.  I've gotten 5 in the seven months of 2022.  

They seemed to have pumped up their appearance at SDCC this year, from what I could see on their twtr and fbook (cuz that's about as close as I'll get to a convention), and they released a promo video for stuff being developed, that included some bits of a live action Taarna character, in an otherwise digital set.  The video link is in this article about HM at SDCC:

https://aiptcomics.com/2022/07/23/heavy-metal-metalverse-film-tv/

However, the comments on the video call out that the non-Taarna bits, promoting their other developments, are grabbed from other movies, which clueless me would not have noticed.  So that doesn't look good, using others' stuff to promote one's own properties, as if they don't really have much on their own stuff to show.

(also I can barely stomach the spewage in the press release in the article, buzzwords all over the place, and I'm already sick of "buckle the fuck up".)

A live-actor Taarna movie could be cool, maybe, and I'm somehow reassured that her costume is somewhat more sensible, or at least more practical, than Taarna's outfit in the 1981 movie.  A promo shot from fbook:

Snap from the video:

But it would probably be digitized over like most everything else.

I am also amused by the idea of a live-actor Taarna, in that a live actor was used for some of the animation work in the 1981 movie, per an article in the August 1981 issue:

That's about it for what I would look forward to, from the promo.  The other things (noted by the titles over the scenes from other movies) are for some of the new things they've been promoting, Adrienne James, Swamp God, Savage Circus, etc, which have not interested me.  Overall this promo video isn't encouraging.

Also recently, the HM website shows up as "Metal+" on the front, with tabs for various things digital, talking up "web3" and enefftees and crap, and also a tab for "Physical Goods".  That's mostly books and things along with the mag, and a merch section with nothing in it yet, but for the Hildebrandt calendars.  This attempted rebranding is likewise discouraging, shunting the magazine to the sidelines, and is reinforced by the article noted above, where blather is expended on it.  

And there's a really stupid typo referring to Taarna as the "Last Taarakin". 

Also again, right after the SDCC and its breathless announcements and panels, HM's fbook got hacked.  It would be amusing if it wasn't so dismaying.  Their operation seems to be teetering.  It's plagued by customers so furious about unfilled orders that I've heard rumors of a class action suit.  Their publishing schedule is inconsistent.  They went in with both feet on enefftees, and don't seem to be letting up stepping in it.  Their tumblr hasn't been updated in months.  I have small hope and smaller confidence that they'll be able to keep the magazine going.  Like I've said before, if they go all digital they'll lose me.  And I'm pretty sure they don't care.

While I have no sympathies for the Big Shots, whose machinations and hubris burden the operation with extraneous crap and have put it in this position, I'll feel a bit sorry for artists and creators, and the hapless staff trying to do their jobs, and fans of the mag like me (and not like me), who can only watch as Heavy Metal Magazine appears to crumble from the inside.  Will someone come in and save it again, like Kevin Eastman did 30 years ago?  Small hope is all I have.  Enjoy what you can, while you can kids, nothing lasts forever in this world.

PHFMEH

The Summer 1987 issue of Heavy Metal Magazine was noted as the "10th Anniversary Issue":

(Image from www.heavymetalmagazinefanpage.com/hmlist87.html)

A little corner banner reads: "Inside!  Construct Your Own Monster!"  

That monster is "PHFMEH, The Reader Eater":

A build-your-own monster in the pages of Heavy Metal Magazine.  From almost 40 years ago.

I'm quite tickled with myself for constructing this.  For actually doing it.  Years ago it occurred to me to photocopy the pages in the magazine on heavy stock, so I could make Phfmeh without cutting up my only copy of this HM issue, and I had them, unused, for a long time.  Weeks ago I actually started cutting things up and gluing them together.  It was challenging, to cut out all the pieces with the little tabs, and to glue those tabs one or two as a time, to bend the pieces and hold them in place (finally figured out to use removable tape, even though it pulled up some of the print in spots).  And my eyesight and dexterity are decades older than they were in my "prime".  But I still liked it.  And it worked!

A fearsome sight indeed.  It's weirdly serpentine centaur kind of creature, with unsettling mammalian nipples above the snakelike belly, reminding me too much of the Maw of Moloch in Metropolis.

 

The note in the article is credited to Peter X. Kleinman, "Interplanetary Death Squad Supervisor".  Mr Kleinman designed the HM logo of course, and was also the mag's Design Director at the time.  On the Contents page, it's strangely noted as "Fmeh:  The Monster From Outer Space", illustrated by Stephen Hall. 

They both deserve a lot of credit for making this exist.

Phfmeh also appears on the back cover:

 

(Also from www.heavymetalmagazinefanpage.com/hmlist87)

And the design is ingenious, making curves and contours and shapes from flat material.  They are printed on heavier stock than the rest of the magazine, thoughtfully.  The parts fit together very well, surprising me for an apparently hand-drawn pattern.  I enjoyed a few small modifications, making the ears a bit less puppy-dog-like, and using some tabs for more teeth, and making a little hat for the Reader so he can go for a ride, with Phfmeh the Reader Eater, instead of being tormented in the clutches of the interplanetary demon.  Yee-haw, little buckaroo, Yee-haw. 

I'm enjoying it now even more putting this post together.  I'm sure I'm not the first, but oddly I find nothing on the interwebs of someone having done this, putting Phfmeh together and letting the world know.  But I'm sure it's happened.  To those who have come before me, I salute you.

Heavy Metal #317

I got Heavy Metal #317 via mycomicshop.com in early June, and it's got 154 pages and the cover price is now $14.99 USD.  Photo of my copy:

The Cover "A" for this issue #317, is by Kim Jung Gi.  It has some imagery inside the HM logo again, it appears to be the same as used for issue #315; I'll call this cover a 6.  It is apparently the 4th in a series over the last four issues, that can be pieced together for a larger image.  I only got two of the series, choosing other covers for artist preference, and I won't look for the other two of the series.  Sorry to this artist, but I'm not about to seek out multiple copies of the same issue just for a cover variant.  This has some imagery inside the HM logo again, it appears to be the same as used for issue #315.

We are thankfully spared big shots' editorials again, in favor of another "in memoriam", for Neal Adams.  I'm not familiar with Mr Adams, apparently he was well-known and respected in comics, and he seemed to be in one piece in the magazine, in July 1979, "...Rears Its Ugly Green Head", with Michael Hinge, but he was also involved in some design work for the 1981 Heavy Metal movie for the "So Beautiful and So Dangerous" segment.

"Space Pirates Unit Dolores Chapter 1 The New Pioneers' Trail" by Didier Tarquin, Lyse Tarquin, Ivanka Hahnenberger, Jame, Fabrice Sapolsky - 7 - A young woman is sent away from the convent where she was raised upon turning 18, seeks her inheritance, and immediately is embroiled in a dirty underworld of a superurban megalopolis.  This 46 page long installment appears to be another somewhat recent French story brought to us via HM, not unlike "Jack Vance's Avenging Demon Princes - Part One:  The Star Prince" in issue #312, which unfortunately has not been seen again.  I like this sort of thing just fine, I like the art style and storytelling, and I hope they decide to continue both of these stories.

"The Adventures of Adrienne James - Chapter 4" by Matthew Medney, Bruce Edwards, Santa Fung, Lucas Gattoni, Morgan Rosenblum - 5 - Now they're space traveling and visiting a junk dealer.  No idea why.

"WireMonkeys" by Dan Schaffer, Fabrice Sapolski - 6 - With a "1. Homo Evolutis" subtitle.  This begins with the preview pages from HM #316, and proceeds with some freaky shit storytelling involving frenemies playing with mutations that enable self-regeneration.  Maybe this will go somewhere cool.

"Entropy" preview by Christopher Priest, Montos - 5 - Four pages of pretty cool black & white art make for a nice preview.  It ends with "Issue #1 in Stores July", so we may or may not see any more of this in the mag.

"The Future in Neon - A Conversation with Steve Aoki, Tom Bilyeu & Maciej Kuciara - Interview by Joshua Sky" - 4 - Apparently famous guy talks about his graphic novel and enefftees.  Right out of the gate comes "restaurant magnet", apparently different from a restaurant magnate.

"The Axe - Part 3" by Joe Trohman, Brian Posehn, Scott Koblish, Diego Fichera, Lucas Gattoni, Morgan Rosenblum - 6 - The three teens try to make their escape from imprisonment in Sheol.  Lots of action packed silliness (demon guitar goes "Gooosh!") helps make it fun.

"Dark Wing - Chapter Ten" by Matthew Medney, German Ponce, Andrew Dalhouse, DC Alonso, Saida Temofonte, Joseph Illidge, Bruce Edwards, Pete "Voodoo Bownz" Russo - 5 - The pilot, shirtless with an enormous - gun - confronts the madman hiding his "children", soon getting all blasty with the place.  This is apparently the story resolution, as scores are settled, accomplices are vaporized, some feelings are reconciled.  It ends with "To Be Concluded" so it's not done yet.

"Bioripple Preview" by Nir Levie - 5 - Some pretty cool art, but I can't tell if this is trying to tell a story, or if it's just some highlight panels.  But it says "A Bio-Punk Story " so maybe both?  This preview ends with "Graphic Novel Available in Stores and Digital Now!" so we may not even see more in the mag.

"Something Seems Off" by Chris Anderson - 8 - Happy to see another installment of this feature, first seen in HM #314.  So it appears Ricky and Darla are the main characters, and they attempt to infiltrate the body of a giant behemoth, so large he bears a city on his shoulders, to interrupt some ritual.  Again the wordless storytelling confounds my ability to briefly describe it.  Which I like, it's so imaginative and obscure, in the intriguing and thought-provoking way that I like.  And it ends with "To Be Concluded in the Next Bizarre Issue" so I've got more to look forward to.

I've been ignoring the ads in recent HMs, since they are mostly for other HM products that have only had brief previews, or none at all, in the mag, and the most I'm likely to get of any of that stuff is if I ever come across them in a resale shop someday.  I'm mostly interested in the magazine itself, and things that advertise "available in stores and digital now!" but only have previews, or don't appear in the magazine, are not enticing to me, especially since I'm not fond of much of what gets put up for previews these days.  An exception in this issue is an ad for a new Hildebrandt calendar with HM, that's supposed to come out in the fall, that I may keep an eye out for.

HR Giger Debbie Harry Chris Stein HM December 1981

I enjoyed seeing an article from Rolling Stone about that time when Debbie Harry, Chris Stein, and HR Giger got together, to make some art for Debbie Harry's debut solo album KooKoo, in 1981.  I wasn't a big fan of Debbie Harry or Blondie music at the time, though I thought it was mostly pretty good.  But I was a big Heavy Metal Magazine fan, and I liked the cover art from December 1981, with Chris Stein's photo of "Giger does Debbie":

(image from www.heavymetalmagazinefanpage.com/hmlist81

and an article inside the mag with more photos and text (photos of my copy):

 

There's some great imagery of the cool bodysuit and posing with other Giger props.

From the Rolling Stone article, it appears there's going to be a re-release of KooKoo, and Chris Stein is putting out a book this fall.  I may actually keep an eye open for it.

There are a couple more articles on this topic I saw, www.art-agenda.com/announcements/416517/chris-stein-h-r-giger-kokoo-1981 and www.kaleidoscope.media/shop/chris-stein-h-r-giger-kookoo-1981, selling more stuff.

 

Heavy Metal #316

I got the Cover B of Heavy Metal #316, from mycomicshop.com, in early May, ($13.99USD and 144 pages again) for the Bisley cover.  I wanted to see in print what a Bisley Taarna would look like, and I thought it was pretty cool.  It was Bisley all over it, from wicked face and body art and improbably inflated boobs, to the hoop earrings and dangling skulls hanging from Taarna's dragon-headed mount.  It gets an 8 from me.  Photo of my copy:

There's some of the cover image reproduced inside the logo, and this cover also has a "45th Anniversary Edition" plaque across the bottom.  The Cover A apparently does not.  There's an interview with Mr Bisley later in this issue.

The two big shots make up for the lost space of no editorials in issue #315, by taking two pages in this issue, each with a photo of them and unidentified someones, and pushing the Contents page to page 4.  That wouldn't be so bad, except they end up doubling the load of crap shoveled, though I'm doing a bit better about not getting too annoyed.  Mr Medney mentions things like "Web3" and "communities on the blockchain", and Mr Erwin again tries to craft connection with HM and comics and his own experiences, again unconvincingly, so I get a good eye-rolling workout.  But I learned something.  When Mr Medney referred to the Heavy Metal's first issue from April 1977 as "Heavy Metal #001", I thought "Whhyyyyy???", until I actually looked and saw that the very first issue says "Issue Number 1" along the spine.  (They referred to numbered issues til "Vol. 1 No. 6" was noted on September 1977.)  And it was edge-glued ("perfect" binding), which I did not recall after all these years:

I benefitted again from actually looking at the magazine, when Mr Medney said that HM influenced movies, including Mad Max, so I looked at July 1985, which has an interview with George Miller talking about "Beyond Thunderdome" as well as the two earlier movies.  No mention of Heavy Metal influence here (more of Mr Miller's experience as an emergency room doctor treating horrific injuries from car accidents on Australia's deadly roads).  With all the history contained in Heavy Metal Magazine's pages, I'd wish that the guys calling the shots were actually people who had actually read most of them.

"Cold Dead War:  Bloody Paradise" by David Erwin, Vassilis Gogtzilas, Lee Loughridge, Saida Temofonte, Joseph Illidge - 4 - American soldiers in the Second World War attacking Japanese positions, get unexpected undead help.  Several admirable attempts of the art and storytelling fail to lift this from the muck for me. Sorry, but seeing war on TV and in comics growing up, Combat! and Rat Patrol, and Sgt Rock etc. when WWII was as recent as 9/11/01 is to now, makes me want soldiers and guns that look like soldiers and guns, and I really think calling a bird a kingfisher as part of the story would entail drawing it to look like one.  That and the clear attempt to market the Nelson character from the 1981 HM movie, much like the efforts to market Taarna as one of the properties HM actually owns, overshadows the stark and murderous atmosphere the story seeks to portray.  Also weird that it's taken over a year to have another installment of this, since the only other one was in issue #300, which also had a completely different creative team.

"The Axe - Part 2" by Joe Trohman, Brian Posehn, Scott Koblish, Diego Fichera, Lucas Gattoni, Morgan Rosenblum - 6 - The teens' curiousity about The Axe dooms them to Sheol, Hell Off Earth.  Plenty of gruesome otherworldly mayhem to be had from the art, and there are some jokes I liked in the writing.  The evil critters introduced via trading card bios and the somewhat predictable story progression detracted from the parts I enjoyed.

"Taarna:  The Witness" by Helen Mullane, Montos, Saida Temofonte, Joseph Illidge - 6 - Taarna vanquishes an interstellar demon, somehow.  I wanted to like the black and white art, it's nice, and so rare in HM these days.  Unfortunately for me, I struggled with the storytelling.  It took me a while to figure out the counterclockwise sequential progression on the unfortunate two-page spread, and I got no idea of how or why any of the action was happening.  Sometimes I like needing to fill in the blanks of a story myself, but this wasn't one of those times.

Interview with Simon Bisley by Justin Mohlman - 8.5 - This broad and substantial interview with Mr Bisley is full of stuff I enjoyed, and has a nice discussion of his creation of the Cover B he did for this 45th Anniversary issue.  Which makes me glad I got the Cover B issue.  Not only is this art actually painted, but when asked about his vision for Heavy Metal Magazine in the future, Mr Bisley responds "... I see it will remain a magazine, for sure, for all eternity, paper and pulp without a doubt."  I hope he's right.  When he's asked about his first work in HM, he hesitates, not remembering, then gives Kevin Eastman a shout-out, which pleased me since I don't think he gets enough credit for HM's longevity, at least not by the current management, especially since he was apparently forced out a few years ago.  (Mr Bisley also says he thinks someone will correct him on what the first work was, so, I think it was January 1991, with Pat Mills with "Slaine:  The Horned God".  Which actually predates Mr Eastman's tenure at HM.  You're welcome.  And I think the most recent was the cover for November 2011.)  Besides that, I'll also take this opportunity to apologize to Mr Bisley, for the handful of times I haved mis-spelled his name as "Bisely" here on my puny blog.  And also to again point out that Eyebrow Tuna, a whacked out dubbing of a Japanese kids' cartoon by Mr Eastman and Mr Bisley, and Peter Jenkins, still exists.

"Starward:  Chapter Ten" by Steve Orlando, Ivan Shavrin, Saida Temofonte - 6 - With Joseph Illidge credited as Editor. The united Sisters battle Kaos.  Energetic art and big sound effects, and a dick joke, and an unsurprising surprise.  What next?

"Death Defied Part 2" by Joe Harris, Federico Pietrobon, Lee Loughridge, DC Hopkins, Fabrice Sapolsky - 6 - The reanimated entertainment mogul asserts control of his legacy, and is attacked by mysterious assassins.  Extensive flashbacks work on backstory, it seems there's a ways to go to bring the past and present of this story together.

"The Adventures of Adrienne James - Chapter 3" by Matthew Medney, Bruce Edwards, Santa Fung, Lucas Gattoni, Morgan Rosenblum - 5 - A trap door in a dark temple, an amulet unlocking mysterious mechanisms, riddles with an otherworldy oracle; it seems the mining of tropes will continue.

"Taarna -- The Last Taarakian" by Phillips, Zircher, Rosado, Barrionuevo - 4 - Noted as a "Special Preview" and credited with only last names (and not at all on the Contents page), this short preview has some colorful images but no story, and ends with an ad for the book: "Heavy Metal's Flagship Graphic Novel Available in Stores and Digital Now!"

"A Tale of Skulls" by Marko Sojanović, Boris Bakliža, Marko Serafimović - 6 - Stories of the Catacombs beneath Paris.  Pretty cool sepia-toned art.  This short story tries hard to set up its premise with some purported history, but it didn't succeed for me.  I had too many problems with the language, possibly translation issues, and I'm usually more tolerant, but this time the storytelling didn't come together because of it.  And it was "A Tale of Sculls" on the Contents page, my goodness.

"Preview:  WireMonkeys by Dan Schaffer, Fabrice Sapolski - 6 - Techno-future biker chick stops to help an old fuzz drone, and is late for her appointment.  The art does pretty well with the dreary tech-urban atmosphere, the story isn't saying much in its five pages, but it is just a preview.  We'll see if we get more.

"Engagers - Part 2" by Matthew Medney, Bruce Edwards, John Roi Mercado, William Soares, Lucas Gattoni, Morgan Rosenblum - 5 - The game creators continue to work on expanding their engagement.  This long 27 page installment finishes this issue.  The writing is reaching me better, it's working hard to fill in a detailed story, even though it's full of gamer-speak and marketing talk, which are things I have not engaged with.  At least this is another story in HM that starts with a preview and continues in the mag, as opposed to the previews that are selling separate books, that I will never see.

Heavy Metal #315

I got my copy of Heavy Metal #315 via ebay in early April, and it has 144 pages with the $13.99 (USD) cover price.  Mine is the Cover A by Kim Jung Gi, with Vasator and Crunch hacking up some insectoid creatures.  Also, inside the HM logo is a part of a scene with Taarna, it appears, with perhaps some insect-y foes as well.  It's fragmentary and not clear.  Photo of my copy:

It's pretty energetic, I'll give it a 6.

We are spared the Big Shots' blatherings this issue.  Instead a simple full page In Memoriam for Ivan Reitman, whose involvement with Heavy Metal is in producing the 1981 Heavy Metal Movie.  Mr Reitman was featured in the "Imagining Heavy Metal" documentary included in the Columbia Pictures DVD of the movie.

"The Axe" by Joe Trohman, Brian Posehn, Scott Koblish, Diego Fichera, Lucas Gattoni, Morgan Rosenblum - 7 - Misfit suburban detritus high school kids, encounter "The Axe", an evil mysterious scary guitar, in a seedy guitar shop.  Stereotypical characterizations, but I like the energy of the art.  It ends with a fine splash page promising some freaky otherworldly horrors, despite being another unfortunate two-page spread.  And it's "Te Be Continued" so we hopefully get to see some of that promise realized.

"Engagers - Part 1" by Matthew Medney, Bruce Edwards, John Roi Mercado, William Soares, Lucas Gattoni, Morgan Rosenblum - 4 - More of the same as in the Preview in #314, social media tech startup enjoys unbelievable engagement.  I'm not excited by the art or storytelling, but at least the question is asked:  we could, but "should we?"  It says "To Be Contintued", but should it?

"Swamp God - Chapter 11" by Ron Marz, Armitano, Werner Sanchez, ALW Studios' Troy Peteri - 5 - And with Joseph Illidge getting an Editor credit.  At last it ends.  After all the BLAMs and killing, the remaining Union soldiers find out the war has been over for weeks.  That's the twist?  Honestly I thought that kind of slow communications was pretty common at that time.

"Black Beacon - Chapter 6" by Ryan K Lindsay, Sebastián Piriz, JAME - 6.5 - with Joseph Illidge getting an "Edited By" credit.  This ends with this long sixth chapter.  The art is really good, engaging and dramatic, and the story progresses, but it's too bad that the mystery of the storytelling didn't really create much interest for me. I was just watching it go by.

"Vasator and Crunch" by David Erwin, Valerio Befani, Javier Mena, Saida Temofonte, Morgan Rosenblum - 6 - The mercenary brothers scheme to kill their employer, on learning that he plans to have them killed.  There's a flashback to younger days, when it was Cade rather than Crunch, which somewhat plays into this story.  This is the fourth installment of these two characters' story, and there have been different artists each time.  What's up with that?

An Interview with The Wizard of Barge by Joshua Sky - 3 - This is subtitled "Across the Barge-E-Verse and Beyond!"  The Wizard of Barge describes his artistic upbringing, from skateboards to animated movies (including the 1981 Heavy Metal Movie) to t-shirts.  In the middle of the interview, the reason this is here comes out.  The Wizard was approached by HM to make six images for NFTs (... JFC! ...), and six little images are the graphics for this interview.  They look pretty cool, but ...  One draws direct inspiration from the HM movie.  It's telling that he states "I don't know if they will be in print or not".  Three guesses, and the first two don't count.

"Stable - Special Preview" by Matthew Medney, Morgan Rosenblum, Voodoo Bownz, Jonny Handler, Francesco Pisa, Ismail Nihad - 5 - This also has a subtitle "Created by Herø Projects & Tomato Farm".  A guy breaks the security perimeter of a not-quite-abandoned industrial facility, and gets stunned for his trouble.  The art is not bad, in a modern comic digital style, but it's so flat.  Even the bits of supposed action look static.  The story?  Who can say?  This ends with "Available in Stores and Digital Now!"  Perhaps we'll see more of this in the mag, perhaps not.

"Dark Wing - Chapter Nine" by Matthew Medney, German Ponce, Andrew Dalhouse, Saida Temofonte, Joseph Illidge, Bruce Edwards, Pete "Voodoo Bownz" Russo - 6 - Nine of the fifteen pages are filled with fiery explosions, one is filled with explosive lightning.  There's lots of action movie framing and posing.  This chapter does end in a twist (only a little Matrix-y) which at least counts as story progression.

"Savage Circus" Chapter Eleven" by Brendan Columbus, Al Barrionuevo, Candice Han, Dave Sharpe, Joseph Illidge - 3 - Bonus in this issue!!  This one ends too!  Sorry to the creators but I disliked everything about this.  And just because I don't like something doesn't mean it's bad, but I didn't like any of it.  And it's like they're toying with me; now it's Candice Han on the Contents page, and "CANDiCE HAN" in the story.

"Winnie the Poe" by D⦁MINT⦁ID - 5.5 - Subtitled "Rum, Rum, Rummy", this is kind of a wasteoid-trash parody of Winnie-the-Pooh.  Somewhat funny characterizations, a clever bit or two, a handful of pretty nice illustrations, and a smattering of typos, come together to make a somehow not-totally-awful bit out of it.

"Starward:  Chapter Nine" by Steve Orlando, Ivan Shavrin, Saida Temofonte - 6 - With Joseph Illidge credited as Editor.  The Seven Starward Sisters reminisce before they must fight again.  Again the art is working really hard, and the story keeps backfilling, but I'll admit I thought "fist-fucked" in a YA graphic novel was unexpected.

Well, I actually finished this review before I got the next issue, it's been a while since that's happened.  #316 is ordered but it'll be a few days for it to show up.  Though the mag isn't exactly monthly, they're actually running pretty close.  I'll just keep hoping it keeps up and we get more interesting fun bits and less crap.

Heavy Metal #314

For this issue of Heavy Metal #314, with 144 pages and $13.99 cover price, I got the "B" cover (via ebay) by Greg Hildebrandt, "Angel of the Gods" so I could compare for myself this reprinted cover with the February 1982 issue, where it was first on Heavy Metal.  This is the second time, that I recall, that a Heavy Metal Covers image was re-used (the first being the Oscar Chiconi image used on Summer 1988, and then on January 2002, using the same art).  This may be the first time it was intentional.

The contrast between these two makes me think they went a little overboard with brightening the image for the new issue, but the old one is a bit dull in comparison, and I don't think it's all its age or my rudimentary camera work.  I was also interested to note the differences in the printing effects, the new image is noticably finer, as well as brighter:

Less obvious on the screen is the effect of digitizing on the smoothness of the transitions in the shading, such as in the shadow on the woman's hip (it's more apparent in print).  It becomes more like separate bands of colors than a gradient.  I've seen it in more recent art in the mag that is produced on a screen, where gradient shadowing can appears as bands of subtly different shades, as opposed to art done on physical media.  I bet there's a word for that.

But I thought it was cute they put "February 2022" and the Classic Tagline "The Adult Illustrated Fantasy Magazine" on it.  Overall I like this image and I like that it's been brought back for this issue.  I give it an 8.  There's an interview with Mr Hildebrandt in the issue that we'll get to.

The two big shots may have broken their arms patting themselves on the back for having Mr Hildebrandt in this issue, but at least they're talking about something that's actually in this actual magazine.

"Death Defied Part 1" by Joe Harris, Federico Pietrobon, Lee Loughridge, DC Hopkins, Fabrice Sapolsky - 6 - Awakened from hibernation, an entertainment mogul re-enters the media empire he created.  This begins with the first 4 pages identical to the Preview in #313, except for the page arrangement due to the Preview title page.  But it continues with 12 more, building the story of the futuristic megacorp that grew from his earlier successes, complete with creepy android servants.  The promise from the Preview carries to this start of the story, I'm hoping it carries on.

"Swamp God - Chapter 10" by Ron Marz, Armitano, Werner Sanchez, ALW Studios' Troy Peteri - 6 - And with Joseph Illidge getting an Editor credit. The Swamp God falls into their trap, is immolated and takes 23 BLAMs, while somehow the captain escapes from the flaming pit, saving a BLAM.  Is the Swamp God vanquished?  Will the uncomfortable allies become fast friends?  Wanna bet?

"The Adventures of Adrienne James - Chapter 2" by Matthew Medney, Bruce Edwards, Santa Fung, Lucas Gattoni, Morgan Rosenblum - 5 - Ms James continues the quest.  They don't call this "female Indiana Jones in Space" for nuthin', lifting at least a couple imperiled-explorers-avoid-boobytraps tropes.  And if they had wrist-mounted harpoon thingys, why couldn't they have used them to get off the flimsy rope bridge to escape the rolling boulder in the first place?  Sheesh.

"Cyberarchy 2" by Matt Hardy, Clark Bint, Rob Jones - 7.5 - A future moon-city's inhabitants try to live their lives as if hordes of giant bugs aren't barely held at bay outside the city's walls, enabled by their tightly integrated robotic infrastructure.  With a sad-humored parody of pandemic skepticism ("the social feed says it's all a hoax...") and something to say about dependence on technology, and some well done graytone art that really fits the bill, I'm glad to see this says "To Be Continued..."  This also appears to be the second installment, with "Cyberarchy" by the same creators, that appeared in #305.  A couple of the same characters too perhaps.

Interview with Greg Hildebrandt, by Matthew Medney - 8 - A rich interview with four nice images, Mr Medney manages to do a pretty good job of asking a question and getting out of the way, allowing Mr Hildebrandt much space to expound, which he does.  (it does seem this interview was done via email or something, rather than "live".)  Several stories are forthcoming, only slightly HM-related, but nice regardless.  Odd how Mr Medney mentions Mr Hildebrandt is responsible for "12+" Heavy Metal covers, more than any other single artist".  I've only counted 7 covers with Mr Hildebrandt:  February 1982 "Angel Of The Gods", which is the cover reproduced for this issue #314, and is also shown in this article; August 1983 with "Winged Messenger", also in this article; September 1985 "The Mermaids Passion";Winter 1987 (not titled); March 2000 "Nightfire" credited to both Greg and Tim Hildebrandt, also reproduced for this feature; Summer 2002 "Erotic Special #2" with "Escape", where he also had a Gallery of Pin-ups; July 2006 with "Avenging Angel".  The first issue April 1977 also had a story "The Sword Of Shannara" where the brothers did the art.  Royo, for example, has had 38 Heavy Metal covers.  I get my info from my collection and heavymetalmagazinefanpage.com, which is a fantastic resource for Heavy Metal fans.

"Starward:  Chapter Eight" by Steve Orlando, Ivan Shavrin, Saida Temofonte - 6 - With Joseph Illidge credited as Editor.  The Silver Sister fights her Kaos-possessed Sisters, and succeeds in freeing them.  This story doesn't really move me, but even I can tell it's got a good deal of quality in the art and writing.

"Engagers Sneak Preview" by Matthew Medney, Bruce Edwards, John Roi Mercado, William Soares Lucas Gattoni, Morgan Rosenblum - 4 - A short preview, where it appears a company is working to build social media built on studies of brain activity patterns.  Don't they already do that?  The wordy balloons don't help the uninspiring art.

"Desensitized Deirdre in 3-D" by Dan Fogler, Nadir Balan, Justin Mohlman - 4 - Billed as "Dan Fogler Presents Moon Lake Guide to the Dark Side Phase 3".  There's an interesting storytelling technique, where two instances of a snowbunny/cheerleader fight parallel battles, for some reason, with splayed thighs and splattered gore.  But it is confusing, and not in a good way.  Hopefully this is just another book promo for something, and we'll not see it again.

"Chastity and Ezra" by Rian Hughes - 7 - Told with collaged images from old-timey newspapers and encyclopedias, this hearkens back to "Age Of Ages: A Gothic Science-Fiction Trip To The Apocalypse" by Norman Rubington and Akbar Del Piombo, a feature from Heavy Metal's early days (April, May, June, and August of 1977, and February 1978), which I liked quite a bit.  A couple shots from April 1977 that I forgot to add when I first posted this:

This entry by Rian Hughes may be less quirky and less obtuse, but its 14 pages and attempted coherent storyline helped my enjoyment.

"Something Seems Off" by Chris Anderson - 7 - Starting weird and ending weirder, I'll guess at the storyline; with a sleazy merchant accosted and banished by a couple, who ransack the wares to perform a surgical procedure.  The actually wordless storytelling is much better than my description.  With a note at the end saying "Something Seems Off - The banishment of Fador & healing of Ricky by Darla", which makes me think there's a continuing story here, that I wish we could see.

"Savage Circus" Chapter Ten" by Brendan Columbus, Al Barrionuevo, Candace Han, Dave Sharpe, Joseph Illidge - 3 - Cripes, it's still not over.  I still dislike this, but my apologies to Candace Han for not noticing the spelling change:  From the start of this series in #300, it was spelled "Candice" on the story and on the contents page of the mag.  In issue #305 though, it changed to "Candace" on the story, though it's still spelled "Candice" on the contents page.  And I just noticed this.

I'll finish by saying that I've decided I also dislike the current habit of sporadic releases of parts of continuing stories.  When there are two or three or more issues between installments of a serialized story, I have an even harder time following the story and maintaining my interest.  And some of them need all the help they can get to hold my attention.  It's not the first time in the mag's history that chapters get spaced out, "(The Revenge of Count Skarbeck" in Fall 2010 was five years after its first chapter!) but it's starting to seem the norm now.  Also I've never been a fan of stories that start but don't finish in the mag, but that's been happening since the beginnings.

Heavy Metal #313

Heavy Metal #313 has the $13.99USD cover price and 144 pages again, from mycomicshop.com this time.  I got the Cover "A" by Ivan Smirnof, with a subtitle "The Adventures of Adrienne James".  I call it a 6.  Presumably Ms James is approaching something glowing green, Loc-Nar 2.0 perhaps:

And this story is not in this magazine.  It's not the only head scratching editorial choice either.  Indeed, the big shots in their usual insincere editorial efforts (with lines like "through your love of the brand" and "a promise we made to you, our loyal readers") talk about issues future and past, but not a word about this issue.  What is it with these guys?

The Contents page is notable for having both covers' art highlighted and credited, which is pretty helpful.  And also for Justin Mohlman's name spelled like that, instead of the weird switching of the "h" and "l" as it's been for so many months.  And Peter Kleinman is still getting credit for the logo, even though it's dim and obscured on this cover.

"Valhalla" by Brendan Columbus, Philip Silvera, Diego Yapur, DC Alonso, Saida Temofonte, Joseph Illidge - 4 - Warriors fight to the death at Valhalla to return to the living.  It has Diego Yapur and DC Alonso art, which I like in "The Rise", and the little bit of storytelling is succinct.  But as a two-page intro, this didn't show enough to interest me.

"Valentine" by David Arquette, Cliff Dorfman, Bernard Chang, Rob Jones, Fabrice Sapolsky - 6 - Valentine the prisoner becomes Valentine the Saint, who is then reborn ... into The Future!  This started for me as an interesting exploratory telling of the myth, but it appeared to be turning into another smoldering post-apocalyptic superhero tale by the end of the installment.  It says The End, so this may be all we ever see of this in the mag.

"Jack Vance's Avenging Demon Princes - Part Two:  Malagate the Woe" by Jo Morvan, Paolo Traisci, Fabio Marinacci, Ivanka Hahnenberger, JAME, Fabrice Sapolsky - 6 - Continuing from #312, in two parts of 31 and 23 pages, a still-significant part of the mag is given to this story.  The Protagonist Gersen seeks to rescue the damsel and defeat the evildoers in his continuing quest.  It does tell the story pretty well, but it's getting pretty incredible in what it's telling.  So many pefectly executed maneuvers, physical and intellectual, strain my ability to find believeability in the story. 

"Dark Wing - Chapter Eight" by Matthew Medney, German Ponce, Andrew Dalhouse, Saida Temofonte, Joseph Illidge, Bruce Edwards, Pete "Voodoo Bownz" Russo - 5 - There's pretty pictures of fighting and yelling and bared teeth, but the story is something something planet and something else Dark Wing.  Mostly yelled.

"Death Defied Part 1" by Joe Harris, Federico Pietrobon, Lee Loughridge, DC Hopkins, Fabrice Sapolsky - 6 - This starts with a "Special Preview" page, and this is a short 4 page entry.  A team of hazmat-suited technicians awaken a guy from a hibernation chamber, and we see the guy's perspective as waking from a dream.  Then he remembers.  This promising start ends with a "Death Defied Begins Next Month!" 

"The Rise - Part Six" by George C. Romero, Diego Yapur, DC Alonso, Saida Temofonte, Joseph Illidge - 6 - The scientist's gruesome experiments on prisoners escalate, with plenty of gory zombie killing shown.  The Diego Yapur and DC Alonso art, mostly black on white with some red for some color, works great for zombie killing.  This part ends with a flash (-back?) to a Vietcong POW camp, perhaps depicting an elite military rescue mission starting.  Which one would think will tie to the story, somehow.

"Digital Lure" by Isaac Escorza - 5 - A cybernetic interface messes up someone's dating life.  Mr Escorza seems to have done the cover "A" for HM #301, and there's also an Esau Escorza who's done some recent things in HM too.  Perhaps related?  The story's idea of people manipulating their perceived reality cybernetically is intriguing in some ways, and has been explored in Job Dun and in Rod Kierkegaard Jr's Obama Jones and the Logic Bomb, and surely many more things I don't know about.  But no so much in HM before that I recall.  This entry looks good, and does ok at the start telling the story wordlessly, but it doesn't maintain the narrative for me.  And the girl turning from *cute* to *dumpy* when things go haywire, with her top no longer baring her midriff, but the guy just loses his anime hair, was uncomfortably sexist.  Funny saying that about Heavy Metal Magazine, but it ain't the late 70s anymore kids.  Or even the 90s.

"Swamp God - Chapter 9" by Ron Marz, Armitano, Werner Sanchez, ALW Studios' Troy Peteri - 6 - And with Joseph Illidge getting an Editor credit.  The uncomfortable allies spring their trap on the Swamp God.  This suffers from another unfortunate page mixup, the story's 2nd and 3rd pages are swapped.  C'mon guys.

This issue finishes with the 2nd part of  "Jack Vance's Avenging Demon Princes - Part Two:  Malagate the Woe", which ends with a note of finality, after the damsel is rescued and the nemesis thwarted.  But there's another "To Be Continued..." so I guess there's more.