Behold, the return of Heavy Metal Magazine!
Phfmeh welcomes my new issue to the gang.
Defying all doubt, including my own. Heavy Metal Magazine really did die and come back from the dead. Somehow I'm still really old and still reading Heavy Metal Magazine. I'm grateful to all at HM who made this happen, and I hope they keep making it happen. Much more to think and say about the whole thing, but I've been waiting to review this new issue for a long while, so I'll just get to it.
And it's a lot. It's huge, almost twice as thick as usual, though it's the same size, and has fine glossy pages at least as nice as I recall. At 232 pages, it's the biggest Heavy Metal Magazine issue ever. With essentially zero ads. A few for HM swag and subscriptions, a couple fake ones, but it's otherwise nothin' but "content" as they say.
It's wild that this is Issue #001 again:
(The "real" Issue Number 1:)
I selected the #1A cover by Greg Hildebrandt. I'd seen it and was impressed before, so I didn't even look too hard at other options. Very sad Mr Hildebrandt passed away before this was published. We're fortunate to have this.
Immediately, Frank Forte provides an Editorial. It seems he's cranking the hype machine up to 11*, but somehow I'm still optimistic that his intentions are fairly sincere. I'm still grateful someone was willing to put their name on the effort to resurrect Heavy Metal Magazine, and that it actually worked.
The Contents pages are extensive, listing all the many items in the issue, plus a list of cover artists, and an illustration by Erwin Papa, a handle I recognize from the HM Discord.
Then there's Dossier. Heavy Metal Magazine's Dossier was part of the magazine from the early 80's, through the Monthly Era's end with December 1985. It was resurrected in the 90s for a number of years through the 00s. It was usually several articles on music or art or technology or books or movies, etc. And it was often fun and sometimes informative. It's where I heard of Nash the Slash. It's where Lou Stathis sang praise to Eno. It's where Kevin Eastman was mentioned regarding the Ninja Turtles success, with Peter Laird, in the February 1985 issue:
Funny how that success enabled Mr Eastman to buy Heavy Metal Magazine, less than 10 years later.
This edition of Dossier begins with a review of the future, by Frank Forte, as described in popular culture sci-fi and Heavy Metal, which hits lots of good familiar notes. Like Star Trek communicators, and "The Long Tomorrow" to "Blade Runner", the Jetsons and Star Wars, and then it glances at "AI" as it gazes into itself for the future. I think this does a fair job on a topic that could be worth several more than two pages. The other two pages of this Dossier follow the template of years ago with a few articles of a few paragraphs each on a handful of topics. This won't get a rating from me, but I do hope Dossier will continue.
"Alien Disclosure" - 6 - These appear to be one page bits on the topic of aliens among us, with different creators getting a stab at it. This first instance in not credited, a cyborg discovering CDs in space perhaps.
"Bug" by Enki Bilal - 7 - More terrific work from Enki Bilal, an early stalwart of Heavy Metal Magazine. The story is about all digital data disappearing across the globe. The world doesn't immediately descend into apocalyptic chaos, somehow. Maybe it's all the high cheekbones and thousand yard stares. Maybe this will capture my imagination like "The Color of Air", "Animal'z", and "Julia and Roem" did, the three "newer" Bilal entries in Heavy Metal Magazine in the 2010s.
"Alien Disclosure" by Ladrönn - 6 - I'll quote it: "It was in the morning news. Thousands of UFOs from outer space arrived earth causing havoc all around the world. Humanity was sure only in one thing, they do not come in peace".
There's a fake ad on pg 30 for The Ultimate Doomsday Bunker by heavymetalendtimes.com, which sadly is not a real web site. Pretty funny, but it's not credited that I could see, so no rating.
"Heavy History" by Joshua Sky - 6 - "A Crash Chronicle of Heavy Metal Illustrated" I hesitated to give this a rating, since it's not really a creative work. Joshua Sky has taken the task of writing a history of Heavy Metal Magazine, for this first issue of the re-incarnated magazine. An impossible and thankless task, that will be necessarily incomplete, it needed some creative work to at least cover the span of time and history in a mere few pages. So it gets a rating. I mostly liked it, the hype was only turned up to 10-1/2, and it covered much. But with some gaps and conflations, and what must be the necessary elevating of Taarna to "Heavy Metal's flagship character", it diverges greatly from what Heavy Metal Magazine means to me. (fyi, Taarna was almost forgotten as a character until recent years. And Heavy Metal Magazine less "evolved" from Metal Hurlant, than was derived from it, initially.) But since I'm just a cranky old guy, and not their target audience, big effin' deal.
"The Mercenary" by Vincente Segrelles - 8 - An armoured mercenary flying on a winged dragon, lands on a mysterious island. He escapes with his life, for the moment. The Mercenary appeared occasionally in Heavy Metal Magazine in the 80s mostly, and Vincente Segrelles seems to have produced many of them over the many years, and it's great to have an example here. I have read that these stories are completely painted in oils. I'd like seeing more of this.
"Alien Disclosure" by ELGO - 7 - The Presidential candidate is revealed as a parasitic alien. Cool contemperaneousity. Except there aren't enough people videoing on their phones.
"Cold Dead War - The Aftermath" by Craig Wilson, Frank Forte, Adam Wollet - 7 - This is another installment of Cold Dead War, which is a story created from a character Nelson in the Heavy Metal Movie, one of the zombies on the plane in the B-17 segment. Another more recent attempt to mine characters that HM actually owns, along with Taarna, and the Loc-Nar, to build their little universe. I enjoyed this one more than the previous entries. I thought the art was good and the storytelling was better. The "Ploog" name tag was an amusing reference to Mike Ploog who worked on the B-17 segment. I almost expect to hear more from the Loc-Nar characterization like this one.
"June 2050" by John Workman - 8 - An amazing blast from the past. Not only was June 2050 a feature in Heavy Metal Magazine in the early 80s, John Workman was the Magazine's Art Director for much of its early history. Nice to have a fun little one-pager like this now.
"Burton & Cyb" by José Ortiz and Antonio Segura - 5 - A couple space traffickers end up in a haunted castle with their passengers. Burton and Cyb were a popular entry in Heavy Metal Magazine in the late 80s through the 90s. They have their charms, but I wasn't the biggest fan, and this one doesn't change my mind.
"Tribute to Greg Hildebrandt" by Ian Spelling - An affectionate reminiscence of Greg Hildebrandt. Six pages with a handful of images by Mr Hildebrandt.
"Alien Disclosure" by Axel Medellin and Carlos Cabrera - 7 - A pretty cool image, of androids (or people?) assaulted/assimilated? by flying discs. From which the uncredited image of the initial Alien Disclosure page was taken.
"Evil Sex Bitch" by Steve Mannion - 6 - The titular character searches the wasteland for victims. And looks great doing it. I'd probably enjoy this more, if this was a bit more than an introduction, and but for some maddening inconsistencies (tube top or no tube top, hood scoop or no hood scoop, that kind of thing). But that's just me.
"Taarna - Rebirth" by Leah Moore, John Reppion, Anna Morozova, Ellie Wright, Tom Napolitano, Chris Thompson, Dave Kelly - 5 - Taarna, apparently reborn, battles some pretty brown-looking bad guys, and lives to fight again. The art is pretty good, but I struggled engaging a story line with the images. The action and "dialog" didn't usually seem to progress or follow continuously. It was just one scene then the other. As this is probably the continuation of the commodification of Taarna (etc), and more can be expected, I really hope I can enjoy future efforts more than this one.
There's a "Look Back at the Madness" page featuring Den by Richard Corben. Very nice, and they make a point of including Den's dick.
"Ffloydd the Giant Killer" by Michael L Peters - 7 - Let it be said "... Ffloydd was very brave ..." A fun and nice looking one-pager. I dig that.
"Lester - That Old Feeling"" by Fernando Dagnino, Andrew Scott, Chris Thompson - 7 - A companion robot becomes a famous musician. It looks fine, it tells its tale well, it's evocative and dramatic. Too bad its emotional impact is dulled by a typo in a defining moment ("... for the firts time ...")
"They Dug Too Deep" by Dwayne Harris - 6 - Dwarves defend their subterranean home. Great looking art, fun little story, though it's barely more than a joke.
"Austin Grimaldi by Keron Grant, Josh Sky, Frank Forte, Adam Wollet - 7 - Austin Grimaldi returns home from his business trip. Almost immediately he's in an action movie car chase. Riffing on the Grimaldi sequence in the Heavy Metal 1981 Movie, it appears the commodification will continue until morale improves. The art is expertly crafted and moves briskly, as the story tries to keep up with a zillion little speech balloons.
An ad for Heavy Metal Rumble, a dating site that appears to be merely a parody fake. A pity. Cool drawing, initialed "JM25" for a credit.
"Alien Disclosure" by Katie Houghton-Ward - 7 - Aliens won't always come from the skies.
"Gladiatrix" by John Stanisci, Dave Baron, Tom Napolitano, Dave Kelly - 7 - With a "The Trials of Ta-Neen Part 1" side bar, and Special Thanks to Vlas and Charley Parlapanides. The Gladiatrix enters the arena. Much bloodletting ensues. Energetic art and a small story told with many word balloons. A two page action scene wisely avoids trying an actual two-page spread, but cleverly fills the open magazine.
"Millstone" by Michael W Conrad, Ilias Kyriazis, Simon Bowland, Chris Thompson - 8 - The greatest warrior survives his sacrifice to the elder gods, and he wants to know why. An all-knowing ghost child, a cloistered wizard, manacled genitalia, I find myself wanting to know more as well. Good thing it's "to be continued".
"Alien Disclosure" by Luis Guaragna and Felipe Sobreiro - 6 - The "Outer Powers" set in motion the brutal fate of the human race.
"The Devil's Teeth" by Lia Bozonelis - 6 - With an illustration by Agustin Alessia. A well done very short story describing the historical perils of the Farallon Islands. The illustration is good, though it suffers greatly by being subjected to a foolhardy attempt at a two page spread. It looks spooky. The well known wildlife refuge must be on the other side of the islands.
On page 150, something made me think "what the ever-lovin' fuck is this?" A page full of clips from "Scorchin' Peppers Burned My Hard Love Gland", which was an entry in the long-running Rock Opera, from the January 1985 issue. NOT the letters section, as indicated on these pages, that was Chain Mail. Perhaps a joke, I was not amused. Think of the poor children, not really knowing this was supposed to be funny. Surely it's more old guy cranky talkin', but I really liked Rock Opera back in the day, and in one of my earliest reviews, I'd said: "The evolution of this story from a couple panels to a humongous blob, belching satire and invective, leaving behind a slimy trail, kept me buying the magazine for a while." and I got annoyed at this attempt to be humorous.
A shot at the page that hurt my feelings:
And for my own benefit, here is "Scorchin" Peppers Burned My Hard Love Gland" from January 1985 in its entirety:
Yes, it was really like that. Yes, my photographs are lame.
And a shot of Chain Mail from that January 1985 issue while I'm at it:
There, now I feel better.
"Legends of Taarna" by Matt & Shawn Fillbach, JML, Joseph Michael Linsner - 5 - The commodification will continue until morale improves. A new Taarna tale. With technically good art and a story twist.
"Sixella - The Last Roots" by Janevsky, Dave Kelly - 6 - Fourteen pages of someone doing something, perhaps about recovering ancient life forms. This appears to be a part of a Euro BD series, from a few years ago, that we came into the middle of. Looking about it, I saw some images with just black and white line art, and I feel I may have enjoyed this one more if the pretty coloring did less obscuring of the nice line art. Perhaps more will come, it ends with "Sixella will return".
"Kecksburg UFO" by Jim Rugg - 7 - A documentation style story about UFO reports from Kecksburg PA from 1965. A fun retelling for a comic story, reminding me of the first War of the Worlds movie in its look and pacing, and it leans in to the conspiracy and coverup side of its story. I used to enjoy a good conspiracy theory, because it was fun to consider alternatives, though I never gave government enough credit to actually pull something off. Now not so much. Lots of the stuff out there is too stupid and dangerous to be funny, and unbelievably, believed by too many.
"Cobot" by Jonathan Washak - 7 - A convict, lashed and bound and sentenced to walk the badlands until death, appears to be tracked by a hacker over a satellite uplink. Who attempts to animate an infantry robot to aid the convict. It appears it didn't work. With essentially no dialog, I had some trouble following, but there's some good storytelling going on. I enjoyed the line art, how the details can really focus on what's being conveyed in the story.
"Transcendensity" by David Quinn, Tim Vigil, Omar Estévez, Frank Forte - 6 - Colorfully, a being emerges, spawned from the earth, submerges, and rises to the stars. Thankfully, he gets a dick.
"Valentina" by Sergio Gerasi, Vik Deluca, Tom Williams, Chris Thompson - 7 - With an "Inspired by the Work of Guido Crepax", referring to the Valentina creator who appeared in Heavy Metal Magazine in the 80s. Valentina laments a lost lover, and gains an admirer, and dreams the same nightmare again and again. Noted as Part One and ending with a "To Be Continued". It's pretty good, with emotional depth and I enjoy good black and white drawing. It may not be the same as Crepax's Valentina, but this has its own value.
For fun, a shot from this Valentina:
And a shot of the beginning of Crepax's Valentina the Pirate, from November 1983:
"All American" by Jason Pell, Jok - 7 - The cold war fought with giant robot fighters. An amusing joke in the fight, and the story takes a turn to a more personal view with the USA pilot. Jok was part of a handful of HM entries in the early 2020's.
"Alien Disclosure" by Agustin Alessio - 7 - A poster of a buff lizard guy, holding a mostly naked woman, selling "New" Atlas 5.0, whatever that is. The accompanying text described how "they" stopped hiding and came open about their aims, hinting about their demise. Agustin Alessio also did the illustration for "The Devil's Teeth" in this issue.
I enjoyed the fake ad for Heavy Metal ass wipe, and I enjoyed the "Look Back at the Madness Mayhem" page, including some Xalabarder and the climactic (!) scene from The Long Tomorrow from August 1977.
